Teen Dating

I. Parental Control

“Teen Dating”
John 5:23

A) Parents have no control

  • Stop and think! You as a parent need to ask yourself these questions…
  • Can you control the storms, hurricanes or earthquakes that may devour your children?
  • Can you control the pandemic or any other disease that may kill your child?
  • Can you control some shooter coming to your child’s school?
  • Of course, you know the answer to these questions is “No.”
  • What makes you think you can control your teenager’s desire for a relationship other than what they have at home?
  • Teenagers today are really no different than when we were kids ourselves.
  • They do not listen to their parents when it comes to something that they want to do.
  • If your child wants to date bad enough, they will do it no matter what. This is part of the world’s attitude today among our teens, transgression/rebellion.
  • You can make all the rules you want, all the demands you want, and put bars on the doors and windows of your house and your child will figure out a way to escape and be free to do what they want to do.

II. Honor and Respect of One Another

A) What does “Honor” mean?

  • Honoring does not mean worship or bow down to a person’s request or demand or even grace them with your presence.
  • To honor someone is an “action” on your part. It is “action” that brings glory to the person you are honoring.

EXAMPLE: I want to Honor God, so I will do that by the way I act, think, and respond to His commandments, with a goal to please Him.

EXAMPLE: I want to honor my wife, so I will do that by doing things that make her happy, and make her look good.

EXAMPLE: I want to please my parents, so I will do that by doing things that make them happy and doing things that makes them look good.

  • May I also point out one very huge point… To be honored or respected is something you have earned, not something you automatically get.
  • Just because you are a father or mother does not mean you will automatically get honor or respect from your children.    

B) Honor thy Father

  • First of all, any relationship of any kind must start with “honoring the Father.”
  • John 5:23…That all men should honour the Son, even as they honour the Father. He that honoureth not the Son honoureth not the Father which hath sent him.
  • If you as a parent do not honor God yourselves, then how in the world can you expect your children to Honor God or you?
  • True peace and happiness comes through a relationship with the Father, your creator.
  • God has “earned” His honor and respect. That is why he gets it from those who choose to do so.
  • God’s Son Jesus Christ has “earned” honor and respect as our Lord and Savior by being obedient to the Father even unto the death of the cross to help us to receive our salvation.
  • Do you want to honor God? Then husbands honor your wife. Wife honor your husband. When the husband and wife honor one another, then the children will have a desire to honor their parents.
  • Honor and respect is something earned not just given.        

C) Honor thy father and mother

  • Exodus 20:12…Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.
  • This is the first commandment that comes with a promise from God.
  • What is the promise? The promise is that if you do things in your life as a child that bring glory to your parents…you will live a long time.
  • This also means that if you DO NOT honor your parents, then your life will be shortened.
  • We must know that God looks upon the heart and judges us accordingly.
  • As a teen wanting to date, ask yourself… “Am I honoring God or my parents with my dating?”
  • Look at Paul’s advice to the church at Corinth in I Corinthians 10:31… Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

III. Teen Dating

A) Who to date?

  • Every parent should know their child and their tenancies good or bad and base the age to which they wish to allow then to date.
  • In my personal opinion, I believe that they a child from age 1-18. Why? Because they are still ignorant to the facts of being an adult.
  • Our world is totally screwed up because we have allowed “kids” to dictate what we do or allow them to do.
  • Parents today have no idea of how to raise children because they were never taught by their parents.   
  • Paul again warns the church at Corinth (because they had a problem with this in the church there… II Corinthians 6:14…Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
  • This rule applies to people of all ages, not just teens… Do not date anyone who does not believe in God or His Son Jesus Christ.
  • WHY?
  • Look at verse 15) And what concord (harmony or agreement) hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel (unbeliever)? 16) And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
  • God said that if we do not mix with unbelievers then we will have God with us (Emmanuel/Jesus). And we will be His people.
  • Then Paul goes on to say in verse 17) Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18) And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
  • Paul’s illustration here is really based on the fact that you do not mix two different kinds of livestock. Two animals with two different natures do not make a good mixture.
  • The same goes for two different kinds of natures spiritually do not mix.
  •  Two different kinds of nationalities do not mix well either.
  • Know this… This is not a commandment… “Thou shalt not date unbelievers.”
  • It is a very strong warning that if you do date unbelievers, if you do mix livestock, if you do mix nationalities or races…expect heartache, expect trouble, expect differences, expect non acceptance of others.
  • Dating unbelievers in God does not bring “honor/respect” to God. 
  • If you do join with unbelievers, God says “I will…what? “…receive you”
  • In your dating, ask yourself… “Do I want God to “receive me” in my relationship with the person I am dating?”
  • God does not receive those who do not honor His wishes or commands.
  • Note verses 17…Wherefore come out from among them (the unbelievers), and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you, 18) And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
  • Paul reminds the Corinthians that if you do not join with unbelievers, then He will be “…a Father unto you.”
  • What does a father do to his children? He protects them from harm, He loves them, He feeds them, He provides for them, He leads them, and He blesses (makes them happy) them.

B) Teen Touching

  • Go to another passage of scripture that Paul writes to the Corinthians because they had a problem in this area…I Corinthians 7:1…Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
  • Now I know some of you self called theologians and bible scholars would say “This passage of scripture is talking about married people.” REALLY?
  • This is true, it is talking about married couples.
  • Now check this out… The person you are dating may turn out to be someone else’s wife or husband and you have touched them intimately before marriage.
  • Never the less, touching another member of the opposite sex is dangerous before marriage and while dating. WHY?
  • Note verse 2) Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
  • Almost 80% of all teenagers have no idea who they will marry for sure.
  • How many teenagers that you know of end up happily married to the one person ever to enter their life? VERY FEW!
  • ADULTERY- Unfaithfulness between husband and wife. Sex with someone you are not married to.
  • FORNICATION –sex between those unmarried (teenagers or adults).
  • Note that Paul said here in verse 2 “…to avoid what?” FORNICATION meaning…having sex before marriage to another person, decide that this is the one you are going to marry.
  • Ask yourself teen “Is this the person I really want to marry?”
  • Look at another passage of scripture in I Corinthians 15:33…Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. 34) Awake to righteousness, and sin not; for some have not the knowledge of God: I speak this to your shame.
  • Teens… do not be tricked and fall into temptation and then live to regret your actions later. “Awake to righteousness” Get yourself together and do the right thing.
  • Because the person you may be dating may be a person who does not “…have not the knowledge of God”
  • Parents…Teen dating is a dangerous thing to allow your children to become involved with.
  • I promise you as God promises… “It will lead to destruction.”
  • Honor God by setting a standard for your children.
  • Do jot drive your children away from God by your actions.

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